Plus Size Beaches

I like to swim in the ocean but I hate to go to the beach and look at all those size 0 girls in their skimpy bikinis and their fake boobs. It really erodes my self esteem. I know I'll never look like that again (as if I ever did but at least my boobs are real) but I still don't want to be around those women.

I think that we need Plus Size Beaches. Why not; they have special nude beaches. Anyone could go to the Plus Size beach but they would have to look at all our large bodies and accept them. I would feel so much better looking at people whose body shape is similar to mine.

I think I'll write to the governor and ask for a teeny piece of Island Beach State Park. He might just say yes; he's up for re-election.